Compared to her…

I wonder how many times you’ve thought this or said it, without even thinking about it, to your friends or family? Do you ever think about just how often you compare yourself to other girls? The way they look, the stuff they have, their popularity, their intelligence, how many Instagram followers they have?!

In a time where we have constant 24-hour access to our friends and family, to celebrity culture and even strangers we don’t know on social media (!), it’s tough to avoid comparative trains of thought each day. Comparison is a subtle yet destructive thief. A thief of joy. The only person comparison steals from is YOU and I’d love to suggest that you don’t have to remain stuck in these life-sucking, joy-stealing thought patterns…

Here’s a couple of practical ideas that might help you in knowing a greater freedom from the culture of comparison you find yourself in.


I love Instagram! Editing a picture, capturing a special moment, creating just the right hashtag – it can become a treasure trove of great memories! However, it must come with a warning sign. I recently decided to give up social media for a few weeks and it was eye-opening! The subtle thought patterns stirred up by social media: she looks more beautiful than I feel, they look like they’re having way more fun than I ever do, they didn’t invite me to that; can all end up seeping into real friendships and taint them with bitterness or hurt. Let’s not be a generation of girls that lose the art of real, genuine, face-to-face, honest friendship. Why not try giving Instagram and Snapchat less of your time or, dare I say, even cut it out altogether, and instead choose to be present in each moment – you might just be surprised at what you’ve been missing!


There are certain things that you bring into your community, your family, your friendship group that no one else does. There are certain passions and abilities that you have that are unique to you, no one else is wired quite like you. How incredible! This said, it’s all too easy to start longing to have what someone else does or to be more like somebody other than you. What would it look like if you sat down with a pen and paper and listed your abilities, passions, interests, achievements (however big or small) and things precious to you in your life. If you struggle to think of these things, ask someone close to you to help you! Becoming thankful for all of these things might just give comparison that little kick out of sight that it needs!

By Rachael Clear
Tw: @RachaelClear

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