‘Life doesn’t begin when you find a relationship’


The majority of us have watched the film Mean Girls; ever noticed how the character Cady Heron lets the idea of acting mean and thinking in a mean way take control over who she actually was?

Through talking with many of my single friends that are now taken, I’ve found that for many of us, this is an area we all struggle with. With a media culture which expresses that boyfriends are a ‘must have’, it’s so hard to be happy with the fact that we don’t have one.

But being single doesn’t mean we have less, it actually means so much more. It means we have more room to love, more time to spend with our friends, family, and those that truly need our help.

Over the past couple of years, this culture and my own ideals have consumed and broken me. My constant want and longing for a relationship soon caused me to be a Cady – I let it become my identity.

Relying on another human being to provide all of these satisfactions is so temporary and confidence shattering.

Imagine this, you long so much that you believe all of these lies, then you find love, you let it consume you, you let it build your confidence and then… it’s taken away. Gone. He cheated. Or he told you he didn’t love you anymore. You weren’t good enough.

I made myself think of being in that situation, and I became terrified of what that would do to my confidence, my identity and self-worth.

The real truth is that your beauty, your individuality and personality go incredibly far beyond the walls of a relationship.

I just want to encourage you to find yourself. Spend time discovering who you are, what you love about the world, your dreams for the future, growing in faith, exploring life, and learning from mistakes.

You didn’t need to force it. You didn’t need to date a million guys before you found the right one. You didn’t need to change yourself, your body or your personality to get into a relationship where you aren’t yourself.

Life doesn’t begin when you find a relationship, and the books you’ve read have already been written, so write your own.







Hey, I’m Emilie, a born and bred Essex girl of 18 years,
studying Sports Science at Oxford Brookes Uni.
Disney World is my favourite place on Earth.

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